As Young As We Feel Read online

  "Let's pray for Cathy," Caroline said.

  "Yes," agreed someone else.

  Just like that, several of them bowed their heads and actually began to pray out loud, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Marley stood among them, but praying was not her specialty. So she tried to send positive thoughts and good karma in Cathy's direction. Before long she could hear sirens approaching the hotel, and then the paramedics burst into the lounge and took over.

  "Everyone back off," the bartender commanded the crowd. "Give the medics room to work."

  By now the house lights were on, the music had stopped, and everyone stood at the sidelines. Quietly they huddled into small groups. Some continued to pray. Others simply watched with helpless expressions, and a few talked in worried whispers.

  Janie came over to stand with Marley, Abby, and Caroline. "Did you see what happened?" she asked quietly.

  "She just collapsed," Caroline explained. "One moment she was dancing with Keith, and then she just went down."

  "Do you think it's her heart?" Janie asked.

  "I don't know," Caroline said sadly. "Although she had a pained expression in her face."

  "I've never heard of her having any kind of medical problems before," Abby told them. "She's always been such an active, energetic person. I'm sure she'll pull through."

  "I wonder if she has family or anyone who should be notified." Janie glanced around the crowd. "Is she with someone tonight? Her husband perhaps?"

  "She's single," Abby explained. "She was married for a few years, but that was a long time ago. And I know she doesn't have kids. From what I've heard, she's always been married to her job."

  The paramedics had Cathy connected to machines now. With grim expressions, they lifted her onto the gurney, quickly adjusting the medical equipment and taping various tubes as they secured her for the trip to the hospital. But as they worked, Cathy's face remained pale and her body lifeless. Marley thought the circumstances really did not look hopeful. The entire lounge grew quiet as everyone helplessly watched their former class president being wheeled out.

  After she was gone, the Clifden High School Class of 1973 looked at each other with expressions of shock and confusion. For some reason Marley thought everyone suddenly seemed strangely out of place in the starkly lit lounge. It was hard to imagine that just twenty minutes ago, they were laughing and joking. A few people moved to the door, gathering purses and coats as if preparing to leave. Others didn't seem to know what to do, but everyone seemed equally uncomfortable. It was clear: The party was over.

  Chapter 2

  CAROLINE MCCANN

  "I'm going to the hospital," Caroline announced. "Cathy shouldn't be alone. Who wants to come?" As she gathered her jacket and purse, she wondered why she was acting so authoritative. Normally she let others call the shots. But at the moment, it seemed that someone needed to take control, and she was worried about Cathy. This was no time for a single person to be alone.

  "We'll come too." Abby glanced at her husband. "Right?"

  "Sure." Paul reached in his pocket for his keys.

  Caroline grabbed Marley's hand. "Do you want to come too?"

  "Well, I-"

  "I do," Janie said. "Cathy was a good friend to me when I needed one."

  "Okay," Caroline commanded, "let's get this show on the road." She led the way down the stairs and through the lobby. When they reached the parking lot, Caroline continued giving directions. "Marley and Janie can ride with me and we'll meet you guys there, okay?" And just like that, they were on their way.

  "Do you think Cathy will be okay?" Marley asked from the backseat.

  "She sure didn't look too good." Caroline turned down Driftwood Drive. Going forty-five in the twenty-five zone, she sped toward the hospital and hoped no cops were out tonight.

  "Seeing Cathy just lying there," Janie said quietly, "looking so helpless and almost childlike ... well, I had this flashback."

  "What kind of flashback?" Marley asked.

  "It's something I haven't thought about for ages. But it was the beginning of sophomore year, and Cathy and I were in band together and, as usual, one of the guys in the brass section started teasing me."

  "Kids can be so brutal," Marley said in a way that sounded bitter. "And some don't even stop once they've grown up."

  "Anyway, Cathy stood up and defended me," Janie continued, "and she did such a brilliant job that the teasing stopped-in band anyway. I was always so grateful to her. But I'm not sure I ever told her thanks." Janie made a sniffing sound and Caroline wondered if she was crying.

  "Cathy was-I mean is-a real leader," Caroline said. "In the truest sense of the word. She was always kind and helpful to everyone."

  "I'll bet she never had a single enemy," Marley said.

  Caroline pulled into the hospital's front parking area, snagging a spot near the entrance.

  "Wow, I didn't know they built a new hospital," Marley said. "Swanky."

  "Yes, it's actually pretty nice," Caroline said as she got out of the rental car. "I know because my mom's been here a couple of times."

  "Does your mother have health problems?" Janie asked as they hurried in.

  Caroline tapped the side of her forehead as the automatic door slid open. "Mostly just mental ones."

  "Oh." Janie frowned. "Is it dementia or Alzheimer's?"

  "They're not sure yet. But something upstairs has gotten a little whacked-out in the past couple of years." Caroline blinked as they entered the brightly lit lobby.

  "So your mom still lives in town?" Marley asked. The group crossed the shiny laminate floors.

  "Yep. Same old house." Caroline almost started to explain that the same old house was about to fall down around her mother's ears but stopped herself short. She just wasn't sure how much to disclose to women she barely knew at all, even though she'd technically known them for decades. In fact this whole racing-to-the-hospital scene seemed a bit surreal. And yet Caroline felt like she was still in charge. And so she headed directly to the information desk and, after several minutes of computer search, was finally informed that Cathy was being treated in the ER.

  "It's down that way," Caroline told the others.

  "This is so weird," Marley said as they quickly moved down the corridor. "Being here with you guys, I mean. Visiting Cathy in the hospital. Unreal."

  "I just hope she's okay," Janie said as they entered a waiting area to see that Abby was already there-pacing.

  "Man, you guys must've really sped over here," Caroline said.

  "Paul took the short cut," Abby explained. "Then he parked by the ER entrance. He's talking to a nurse right now."

  "So you don't know anything yet?" asked Janie.

  Abby just shook her head.

  A few minutes passed before Paul came over to join them. "We might as well sit down," he said. "The nurse said it's going to be a while."

  "But is Cathy conscious?" asked Marley.

  He shrugged. "They won't give me details. Apparently Cathy's sister lives about an hour south of here, and she's on her way right now. Anyone want coffee or anything?" They put in their orders, and Paul went off to see what he could find.

  "This sure isn't how I expected to spend the evening." Janie slipped off her creamy linen jacket, folded it inside out (probably to keep it clean), and laid it across her lap. Caroline glanced at the designer label as she watched Janie smooth a perfectly manicured hand over the satin lining. Gucci. Well, of course, Caroline thought. Janie is a successful attorney. Why wouldn't she wear Gucci?

  Caroline leaned forward ever so slightly, hoping to discretely check out Janie's pretty shoes, but to her dismay she actually gasped. "Your shoes, Janie!"

  "What?" Janie looked down in alarm.

  "Why, they're absolutely gorgeous!"

  Now everyone was staring down at the high-heeled, sleek leopard-print pumps. Janie chuckled as she crossed one slim leg over the other, revealing a flash of bright red sole underneath.

  "Chri
stian Louboutin!" exclaimed Caroline.

  Janie looked slightly embarrassed. "I don't normally indulge a shoe fetish, but I splurged for the reunion."

  "Those are so hot." Marley nodded approval.

  "They must've cost a fortune," Abby said. "But then, you're single and a successful career woman. Why not?"

  Caroline studied Abby. For some reason Caroline had always assumed that Abby was quite well off. Paul was an established developer in Clifden, plus his family had always been wealthy. But judging by Abby's appearance, Caroline wasn't so sure. She would've expected that Abby might've fixed herself up a bit more for their reunion. And yet Abby's sandy brown hair was dull and tinged with gray and seemed to be in need of a good cut. Her limp blue-denim sundress looked like it might've come from a discount store, and her brown leather sandals had definitely seen better days. And yet Abby was still pretty. Those big brown eyes and that warm smile sparkled. But why had she let herself go?

  Caroline turned her attention to Marley. She actually looked better than ever. Her short haircut seemed to draw attention to her eyes, and she seemed fitter than Caroline recalled. Marley's clothing, a jewel-toned paisley broomstick skirt and black velveteen lace-trimmed tank, looked stylish if slightly bohemian. And her jewelry, while not exactly Caroline's style, looked handmade and kind of cool. Maybe even costly. Caroline wasn't much of an expert when it came to that sort of jewelry. She was more a gold-andpearls sort of girl. Although she didn't have much of that to show for herself.

  Marley slapped her forehead. "Do you guys know what we have here?"

  "A bunch of middle-aged women, waiting to see if an old friend is going to be okay," ventured Abby.

  "No!" Marley firmly shook her head. "We have the Four Lindas!"

  "Oh-mi-gosh!" exclaimed Caroline.

  "That's right," Janie said quietly.

  "Can you believe it?" Abby smiled. "After all these years, the Four Lindas are reunited."

  "I wonder how long it's been since we started our little club," mused Caroline.

  "Let's see." Janie appeared to be doing the mental math. "Fortyseven years," she proclaimed.

  "Boy, does that make me feel old." Abby sighed.

  "Age is just a number, baby," Marley told her.

  "So do you guys remember that day in Miss Spangle's class?" Caroline asked. "When she took that first roll call and nearly fell out of her shoes?"

  "She thought it was a joke," Janie reminded them.

  Now Caroline pointed to Abby. "Roll call, begin."

  "Linda Franklin," said Abby with a twinkle in her eye, "here!"

  Caroline went next. "Linda McCann. Here."

  "Linda Phelps," Marley said with a chuckle, "here!"

  "Linda Sorenson," Janie said finally, "here. "

  "The Four Lindas, present and accounted for," said Caroline. "I call this meeting to order." And then they all giggled like they were in first grade again.

  "I feel terrible," Abby said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "We're out here laughing and Cathy is in there ... well, who knows?"

  They all nodded, quickly sobering up.

  "But you have to admit that it's funny," Caroline whispered. "I mean the four of us here together."

  "Who would've thought?" Marley just shook her head.

  "I'm surprised none of us ever went back to using our first names." Janie spoke quietly. "I know I considered it briefly during law school, but it just didn't feel right. I'd gone by my middle name for so long that I couldn't even imagine being called Linda. Although when I'm working, I go by Jane, not Janie. It sounds more authoritative."

  "I've never been that crazy about being called Linda either," admitted Marley. "I actually tried using both my first and middle names together after my divorce for a while. But being Linda Marlene felt odd. And the name Linda just never sounded very artistic to me."

  "Thank goodness for middle names." Caroline opened her bag to fish out a lipstick. She wondered if Janie would guess that her purse was a fake D&G, since it was actually a pretty good imitation that had even fooled her shopaholic neighbor.

  "Do you know I looked the name up online once?" Janie told them. "Linda was the second most common name for girls born in the fifties."

  "Big surprise there." Caroline touched up her lipstick, taking her time to press her lips together.

  "What was the first?"

  Mary.

  "Mary?" Abby frowned. "Was anyone in our class even named Mary?"

  They all shook their heads.

  "Maybe it was a regional thing," suggested Janie. "The Lindas were out West and the Marys were back East."

  They were still chatting about their common name when Paul returned with their drinks. "I thought I heard a party going on down this way," he said as he handed out paper cups. "Does that mean Cathy is better?"

  Abby frowned. "No. We haven't actually heard anything yet."

  He looked curiously at them. "But you all sounded so merry."

  "I think we kind of forgot where we were," Caroline admitted.

  "And I tend to giggle when I'm nervous," Marley told him.

  Then Abby explained to him about the Four Lindas.

  "You're kidding me," he said. "You're all named Linda?"

  "And we used to have a club," Caroline explained.

  "But it fell apart by sixth grade," Marley filled in.

  "Why?" He sat down next to his wife.

  "Oh, we started going our separate ways." Abby shrugged. "Caroline and I both got boy crazy, and we started wearing makeup and heels and stuffing our bras."

  "And I wanted to be a hippie," Marley said. "That meant no bra."

  Paul chuckled.

  "And I got braces and zits and turned into a social-phobic wallflower," Janie admitted. "I was quite a pathetic creature."

  "But here you all are," Paul said, "back together again. And, if I do say so, you're a fine-looking bunch of ladies." He glanced over to the reception area, where a nurse had just emerged from ER and was talking in hushed tones to the woman managing the desk. "Would you like me to check on Cathy again?" he offered.

  "Yes," Abby said eagerly. "Please do."

  "I wasn't too fond of Paul in high school," Marley told Abby when he was out of earshot. "But I have to admit he's turned out to be a very nice man."

  Abby pointed to herself. "Well, thank you very much. I guess I can take a little of the credit for that."

  "No doubt you've had a good influence on him," Marley said wryly.

  When Paul returned, his expression was solemn.

  "What is it?" demanded Abby.

  "They haven't been able to revive her."

  "Does that mean she's dead?" asked Caroline.

  He nodded sadly. "Medically speaking, she is dead. There's no sign of brain activity, and it's only the machines that are keeping her vital signs going."

  "Oh no!" Janie's hand flew to her mouth and she began to cry.

  "But I've heard of people getting revived," Marley said hopefully, "even after they were proclaimed dead. We can't give up on her yet."

  "Let's pray," Caroline suggested. And although prayer was still relatively new to her, she wanted to rely on it more. She knew it made a difference. Maybe it would make a difference now. And so they all bowed their heads, but it seemed that only Caroline was praying. Everyone else remained silent. Just the same, Caroline was determined not to give up on Cathy. She hadn't always been a believer. But some things had happened the past few years-things that made her trust the power of prayer. They were still praying when Cathy's sister arrived, rushing in with her husband trailing behind her. But no one was at the desk to answer their questions.

  "What's happening to Cathy?" the sister demanded. "Do you guys know anything?"

  Paul stood up and gave her the heartbreaking details, and the sister immediately broke down into tears. They all did their best to comfort her, but before long everyone was crying again. And that's when the doctor came out and told them that it was over. "We did all we could, but C
athy had already suffered cardiac arrest. She was dead even before the paramedics arrived."

  "Her heart?" The sister looked stunned. "But she seemed perfectly healthy."

  "Sometimes that's how it seems."

  "She had no history of heart problems that I knew of," she persisted. "And she went to the gym three times a week."

  "Unfortunately fitness, while good, doesn't exclude anyone from heart disease." The doctor looked at all of them now. "Did you ladies know that heart disease is the number-one killer of women in your age group?"

  "I thought it was cancer," Caroline said quietly.

  "No, heart disease more than doubles cancer." He sadly shook his head. "Sorry to sound so grim, but so often it's women who don't take the symptoms seriously. A man suffers chest pains and he usually calls the doctor. A woman has the exact same pains, and yet she chalks it up to stress or indigestion." He turned back to Cathy's sister now. "I'll need you to help fill out some paperwork, please."

  With tears in her eyes, Cathy's sister thanked them for coming, then she and her husband followed the doctor behind closed doors.

  "This is so sad." Caroline blew her nose on a tissue.

  "I wonder if we should cancel the reunion barbecue tomorrow," Abby said to no one in particular.

  "Doesn't seem there's much else we can do here," Paul told her. "And it's past midnight." He and Abby said their good-byes.

  "I'll drive you girls back to the hotel," Caroline told Marley and Janie. "That's where I'm staying anyway."

  "So am I," Janie told her.

  "I don't have a room yet, but I think I'll stay there tonight too," Marley said.

  "I'm not sure there'll be a room left," Caroline warned her. "They seemed pretty busy when I checked in this afternoon."

  As it turned out, Caroline was right. Thanks to the reunion, the hotel was full, but Caroline offered Marley the extra queen bed in her room. And then, because all three of them were still feeling upset and unsettled, they gathered in Caroline's room to talk and didn't end up going to bed until nearly two in the morning.

  Even then Caroline had difficulty sleeping. Whether it was the doctor's sobering warning about women and heart disease, or the fact that an old friend had just died, Caroline felt reminded of her own mortality. It wasn't a new feeling, but perhaps one she had managed to suppress over the past couple of years. What troubled her most was the feeling that, despite a promise she'd made to herself several years ago, she hadn't really lived her life to the fullest yet.