Homeward Page 29
“Where is he?” Meg demanded.
“Who? What’s wrong, Meg?” asked Phoebe, her eyes filling with fear.
“Abner,” said Meg. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know, Meg. He left late last night. I haven’t seen him. I thought I heard him drive in, but if he did, he never came inside the house. What’s wrong, Meg?” cried Phoebe. Then Jason popped his head out.
“I heard him come home, Meg,” said Jason. “I think he’s out in the garage.”
Meg headed for the garage.
“Wait, Meg!” yelled Matthew, but it was too late, she was already opening the door. She peered into the dark garage and spotted him sitting in an old lawn chair with a blank expression on his face. She stepped forward, ready to light into him, but suddenly she stopped. In his hands was a revolver.
Matthew touched Meg’s shoulder, and she looked back at him, catching the look of alarm in his clear blue eyes. “Come on, Meg,” he whispered. “Get out of here. Let me handle this.”
“Why?” came a raspy voice from the other direction.
Meg turned to see Abner’s eyes fixed on them. Suddenly, Meg realized that not only had she endangered herself, she had also endangered Matthew.
“No, you go,” she whispered over her shoulder to Matthew. But he didn’t leave. Instead, he stepped beside her.
“No reason to leave,” said Abner. “Stick around; see the show.”
“What’s going on?” said Jason from behind them. Meg turned to see both Jason and Phoebe standing in the doorway.
“Good,” said Abner. “The more the merrier.”
“What are you doing, Abner?” asked Matthew in a quiet voice.
“Doing?” said Abner. “What am I doing? That’s a good question.” He lifted the revolver and waved it slightly. As he moved his arms, Meg could see dark red bloodstains on his shirt. She knew it was from Toby, but her anger had evaporated, leaving in its place fear, not only for herself and Matthew, but for Phoebe and Jason as well.
“Abner,” Meg began, trying to imitate Matthew’s calm tone. “I know what you did. But it’s not too late for us to work this out in a reasonable manner.”
Abner laughed a sad, haunted laugh. “No, you’re wrong, cousin. It is too late.” He held up the gun, turned the muzzle toward himself, and placed it firmly against his temple.
Meg heard Phoebe gasp behind her.
“Dad!” choked Jason.
“Abner,” said Meg, with a sob in her voice. She prayed for the right words. “Please, don’t do this, Abner. Think about what you’re doing. You have a fine son to finish raising. You have a wife who loves you. Why would you want to do this?”
Abner didn’t move the gun. “Why?” he echoed. He said nothing more for a long moment. The silence in the garage was almost suffocating, and Meg was afraid even to breathe. “I’ll tell you why. Last night, I went out and shot a dog. Then I carried him down here and listened to his last whimpering breaths. What kind of a person have I become?”
Meg felt tears streaming down her cheeks, partly for Toby, but mostly for Abner.
“But you want to know why?” said Abner. “That’s only part of it. Because I’m a lousy father who beats his son, maybe not with my fist, but with my tongue. Because I’m a lousy husband who has turned his wife into—” He closed his eyes and his fingers tightened on the trigger as he continued to speak in a monotone. “And because I’ve even swindled my own grandmother. Yep, that’s right. For a long time I told myself she owed it to me. Then I started to believe it. I took just about everything she had, and it still wasn’t enough. I was even willing to declare her insane to get her property. Now I’d rather end it all here than go to prison.”
“No one is sending you to prison, Abner,” said Matthew calmly. “Nothing has been done that can’t be worked out. You need help, Abner. Everyone knows you have a drinking problem. Don’t take a coward’s way out, Abner. You can fight this. You can get your life back under control, but you need help. And there are people who are willing to help you. There are people right in this room who are willing to help you.”
“That’s right,” said Phoebe.
“I’ll help you, Dad,” said Jason.
“Abner, I’ll do anything I can to help you,” said Meg. Abner still held the gun against his temple. Meg continued to pray with every breath. “I had hoped that you and I could work together on the bog, Abner. I wanted to be friends, but you never let me.”
“I can help you find legal help, Abner,” said Matthew. “You don’t need to throw everything away just because you’ve made a few mistakes.” Matthew slowly took a couple of steps forward. “Abner, let us help you.”
“No, stay back, Matthew!” yelled Abner, waving the gun wildly.
“Please, Dad,” cried Jason. “Please, don’t do this. Let us help you.”
Abner’s hand began to shake. “I’ve turned into a monster,” he sobbed. “I deserve to die. I’m good for nothing. I’ve failed at everything. I’m a drunk and a coward. My life is worthless. All I wanted to do was make some money. I’ve never had anything. But I got too greedy. I wouldn’t let anything stand in my way.”
“God doesn’t think you’re worthless, Abner,” said Meg. “God can take any mess and make it better. If you let him.”
Abner’s arm suddenly went limp, and the gun slipped from his grasp. In one quick movement, Matthew had the weapon safely in his hands.
“It’s going to be okay, buddy,” said Matthew. Phoebe and Jason came over and wrapped their arms around Abner as he sat and sobbed like a baby. Matthew and Meg stepped outside to give them some privacy. A patrol car was making its way slowly down the hill. Meg couldn’t remember afterward how she got to Matthew’s car, but once she was in the passenger’s seat, she sat there in shock, unable to believe what had just taken place. Matthew talked to the police for a few minutes, then took them into the garage. After a while they came out with Abner, placed him in the patrol car, and drove away.
Finally, Meg went to check on Phoebe and Jason. No words would come to her, so she just hugged them both for a long time. Jason, acting very grown-up, helped his mother get ready to go to the police station.
Matthew was waiting outside for Meg. Before he opened the car door for her, he gathered her into his arms and held her, gently stroking her hair.
They drove back to the bog in silence. Clive was still sitting in Meg’s Jeep, but she hopped out as soon as she saw them coming.
“How about if I take you down to your grandmother’s while Clive and I take care of Toby?” said Matthew.
“No,” said Meg. “I want to help.”
They buried Toby under the fir stand behind the bog, and Meg thanked Matthew and Clive, assuring them that she would be fine but that she needed some time to herself. After they left, she sat down on the stump and looked out over the bog. Suddenly, nothing seemed to make sense. She stared at the ripening red berries growing from plants that had survived years of neglect but now might not even be harvested if no buyer came forward. She thought of her cousin, Abner, whose obsession for getting rich had nearly destroyed his life and the lives of those around him. She thought of Grandmother and the possibility that she had lied to Meg. She thought of the way she’d tossed aside her career and spent her life’s savings on what might very likely be a futile mission. She thought of the time spent with Matthew over the last six months and the possibility that it might only be a friendship. Not that friendships weren’t valuable. She looked upon the freshly dug grave of the first dog she had ever owned, and suddenly her life felt almost as out of focus as it had when she first returned to Crandale last spring.
The only thing she could really cling to was that she still believed God had her life in his hands. She didn’t know how, couldn’t understand why, but somehow she knew it was true.
THIRTY THREE
Holding to that one thread of hope, Meg worked her way through the next few weeks, and slowly her life came back into focus. For the most part.
Siggie had gotten almost everything ready for the exhibit, and Meg managed to get some decent photos of cranberry harvesting. She and Phoebe put together the layout for the cookbook. It was due from the printers on the day that the exhibit was scheduled to open. Phoebe had made some minor alterations to her kitchen and had actually managed to get a license for commercial food preparation. She was now working night and day, producing all kinds of cranberry products to sell at the gallery.
Still Meg felt shaken, and unsure about her future. She had put off meeting with Matthew and Grandmother after the episode with Abner, partly out of guilt, and partly out of fear. It was almost as if she didn’t want to find out that Grandmother had indeed promised Briar Hedge to Abner. Matthew had gently nagged her to talk to her grandmother, but with so many other things pressing, it was easy to delay.
Nearly every grower in the area had harvested their berries by now, but Cal still had no news of a buyer. She knew that in another week it would be too late for her berries. She drove up to the bog and sat looking at her berries, now fully ripe and ready to be harvested, but unlikely to ever leave the bog. She wondered if this could be, in a small way, similar to how a mother might feel knowing that her child would be stillborn.
She leaned down and picked a few of the dark red berries and studied them in her hand. Her berries. Then again, they weren’t really hers. Originally, they had been Grandpa’s, and legally they were probably Grandmother’s. Maybe one day they would be Abner’s to plow under if he liked. Of course, ultimately, they were God’s.
She remembered some verses in the Gospel of Matthew that had comforted her after Sunny’s death. Since then she had read them over and over again, until she knew them by heart. The passage always felt so personal, as if God were speaking directly to her. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
She sighed as if a heavy weight had just been lifted from her chest, then tossed the berries high into the air, watching their dark color against the clear blue sky.
“There you go, God!” she shouted. “They’re your berries. Do with them as you please.” She turned and walked away, feeling lighter than she had in days.
By the time she reached Grandmother’s house, she was smiling. Maybe she should stop to visit Grandmother. Just to visit. It had been a while since she had stopped for a visit with no other agenda. No tales to tell on Abner, no deals to make.
“Good morning, Grandmother,” she said as she went into the bedroom. “It’s a beautiful day out there today.”
“Hello, Meggie,” said Grandmother with a faint smile. The old woman looked tired and fragile. And for a change, Meg thought that maybe Grandmother was right about her health. Maybe she was, in fact, dying.
“How are you feeling, Grandmother?” asked Meg with concern.
“Oh, not too bad. Just weary.”
“Can I get you anything? Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Now, that would be nice. Do you have time to join me, Meggie?”
“Sure do. I’ll be right back.”
Meg found hot water on the stove and quickly fixed a pot of Earl Grey.
“There you go,” said Meg. “Just the way you like it.”
Grandmother took a sip. “Perfect.”
“I remember when I was little, you taught me how to make tea in a teapot,” said Meg. “Before that, I thought tea only came in bags.”
Grandmother chuckled. “You were such a funny little girl, Meggie. You always had such strong opinions. But you have certainly grown into a fine young woman.”
Meg smiled. “Thanks. I especially like the young part. Lately, I’ve been feeling rather old.”
“Oh, pish-posh, Meggie. You’re just a young thing. And I should know. Now, tell me, how are the cranberries doing? Should be harvest time about now.”
Meg sighed. “They look absolutely beautiful, Grandmother. But I’m afraid they may not get harvested.”
“Why not?”
“Cal hasn’t found a buyer.” Meg paused. “Maybe it’s just as well.”
“What do you mean, it’s just as well?”
Suddenly Meg’s eyes filled with tears. “I shouldn’t be so upset, Grandmother,” said Meg. “Especially after I just gave them to God. They’re really not mine, you know.”
Grandmother’s face was puzzled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Meggie.”
“I’m sorry, Grandmother. I mean the cranberries. I think I care too much about them, so I just gave them all to God. Besides, they were never really mine. I know the land belongs to you, and I wanted to preserve the bog. You let me do it. Now you and Abner will probably sell the property anyway, and it will all be plowed under and built into condos.”
Grandmother set down her teacup. She looked stunned.
“I’m sorry, Grandmother. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that I realized I’ve gotten way too attached to the bog, and I need to let it go. That’s why I’m saying that it’s probably for the best that they don’t get harvested.”
Grandmother shook her head. “You think it would be for the best to waste perfectly good cranberries, after all your hard work?”
“Well, I don’t know what to think,” said Meg. “It’s very frustrating. I’m trying not to make myself crazy over the whole thing. I’ve put everything I have into that bog, and I don’t even know why.”
“Meg, go look in the bottom drawer of my bureau. There’s a brown box. Bring it to me.”
Meg followed Grandmother’s instructions, placing an old hatbox in Grandmother’s lap. Grandmother opened it. Inside was a pile of old papers. Some looked official, and others were letters.
“Remember when I told you about the letter that your grandfather wrote to me before he died? Well, there’s a part in it that I didn’t tell you about. It’s not that I wanted to keep it from you, Meggie, but I wasn’t sure when the right time to tell you would be. I think the time has come.”
Meg waited as Grandmother’s shaky fingers opened the letter.
“I don’t suppose I need to read the whole thing to you. You can read it yourself later. You might remember that this letter was to tell me about how your grandfather had finally come to a place where he could forgive me, Meggie. I know what I did was a horrible thing, and I wouldn’t have blamed him if he never forgave me. Not that any good would come from that.” She paused to catch her breath, and Meg tried again to imagine what sort of horrible thing her grandmother would be capable of.
“I suppose for this to make any sense, I’ll have to fill you in on all the details,” said Grandmother. “It’s been my secret all these years, at first because of my pride, but then to protect the family. You see, Bennie wasn’t your grandfather’s son. And therefore, Abner is not his grandson.”
Meg tried not to act as shocked as she felt. She knew this was hard on Grandmother, and she didn’t want to make it any harder by probing. If Grandmother wanted to give any more information, Meg would wait.
“As you might imagine, that was the source of many problems. For a long time, I didn’t tell your grandfather that Bennie wasn’t his own, but I think he knew all along. He always seemed to be too hard on Bennie. When Bennie became a teenager, he got wild and hard to manage. And one night, he and your grandfather got into quite a fight. I won’t go into all the details, but Bennie had done something very wrong, and your grandfather wanted him to put it right. But Bennie refused, and ran off and joined the army when he was only seventeen. Your mother was just a girl then. Anyway, I was so angry at your grandfather that I exploded, and I let the secret out. From then on, your grandfather rarely spoke to me, and your poor mother grew up in a house full of hostility and bitterness.”
“You told me a bit about that before. That must have been hard on all
of you.”
“In the letter, your grandfather said that he hadn’t made a will, but it was his dying wish that Briar Hedge be passed on to you but that I was to live out my last days in this house. But he also said that if by some chance you didn’t want it, he would leave the decision to me.”
Meg was stunned. Grandpa had wanted to leave the bog to her. And Grandmother had known for all these years. If only Meg had known, would her life have been different? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it didn’t matter now.
“You have to understand, Meggie. You never came back after all those years, and the whole time Abner was here, working at first, but slacking off later. I began to think that I would leave it all to him. Not that I wanted to cut you out, but when you never came back…”
“It’s okay, Grandmother. I understand.”
“To be fair, I’ve left Erin a nice little nest egg, taken from my business. I figured the rest would go to Abner. I never expected to see you again.”
“So, I guess I upset the applecart.”
“No, no. Not at all, Meggie. When you came back, I couldn’t have been happier. It seemed perfectly right that you should be the one to rescue the bog. Your grandfather would have been so proud. But I just didn’t know what to do about Abner. Don’t think that I haven’t known there were problems. Believe me, I did. Rosa tried to tell me. Abner, in his own way, revealed that all was not well. I just didn’t know what to do. And I realized, the more you became attached to the bog, that I would have to honor your grandfather, because there was no denying that you had cranberry juice running through your veins.”
Meg smiled. “I want to be fair to Abner, especially since he’s trying to turn his life around. I’m really not in it for the money. But it would be nice to break even.”
“That’s good of you, Meggie. It has worried me a great deal, especially when I think of poor Phoebe and Jason. I don’t know what they would do.”